Final Fantasy IX: Dented Mind
by Bolt-Action
Summary: The author of the one chapter hit Dented Mind has returned under a new name! Really, just ask Krimson Rogue, my brother, for proof. A Revision to chapter one is here and this time I'm actually going to continue! Enjoy!
1. Lust for Glory

Author's note: I don't own anything in FFIX. That's all owned by Square.

Hey everyone, this should seem like a very familiar story to those of you who read Dented Mind by FiftyCal, because it's almost the same story. I went on a ….. hiatus…. From writing, and have finally returned. Unfortunately I was unable to access my old username, no matter how many different passwords I used or attempts at using password recovery. So I just made this new username and am going to submit a newer version of my old chapter along with A NEW CHAPTER! Yup, I actually wrote it. I am sorry it took so long and I hope I have redeemed myself just a bit by coming back with it.

Enjoy!

Zidane walked into the small room expecting to see his comrades, but was only met with darkness

The Theatre Ship soared through the air as it made its way its Alexandria. It soared through the clouds gently as it glided along its path.

A member of the ship's crew, Zidane walked into the small room inside the Theatre Ship, expecting to see his comrades, but was only met with darkness.

"Sure is dark in here", he remarked

Zidane quickly lit a match and proceeded to light the candle in the middle of the room. The room brightened up, revealing a sort of run down supply room.

"Who goes there?!" yelled a voice from behind a closed door on the right side of the room.

"It's me, Zidane!" he yelled back.

The door burst open and Marcus, Blank, and Cinna swept into the room after that.

"Alright, we can get started as soon as the boss shows up", said Marcus

Just then, a sword wielding dragon-headed man busted into the room atop the stairs to the left, ready to attack. The guys got their weapons out and prepared themselves. The dragon-headed man charged forward, but was unfortunately clumsy and fell flat on his face.

"He's down! Let's get him!", yelled Zidane.

The guys quickly jumped around the man and attacked. Zidane twirled his daggers and quickly slammed them into the back of the man's lungs, while Blank took his sword and thrust it through the man's spine, and Cinna continued to be a weak as hell dumbass and just stand there with his stupid hammer. Marcus then finished the fight by swinging his blade and quickly slicing off the man's head. Blood spurted all over the men as Baku's head rolled out of the dragon-head mask.

"Ah shit, I think we went too far again", said Zidane.

"Well gee, the guy attacked a room full of armed men, what the hell did you expect?" replied Blank.

"No sense in just leaving him there I guess", said Marcus.

"Do we _really _have to revive him?" asked Blank "Seriously, this has got to be the fiftieth time he's done this shit."

"You do have a point there" remarked Zidane

"He's the only one who knows the full plans here, and he's in the play", noted Cinna

"Fine" groaned the others.

They pulled their weapons out of Baku's corpse and put his head back on his shoulders, then tossed a phoenix down on him.

Baku staggered back onto his feet.

"What the hell happened? Baku said groggily.

"You tripped and knocked yourself out", said Zidane.

"Then why're you all covered in blood?" asked Baku

"It's stage blood. We were practicing the sword fighting in the play", replied Blank

"Oh, alright then, let's get this meeting started", said Baku.

The guys piled into the next room and began their coordination of the plan.

Down on the streets of Alexandria, a strange kid in a blue overcoat and a big straw hat too big for his head looked up in awe at the giant theatre ship as it flew above Alexandria.

"That would make such a crater in this city" he thought to himself.

He continued down the street and proceeded into a shop with useful looking magical commodities. Just then, unfortunately, he wasn't paying enough attention and a rat-faced boy smashed through the window, who proceeded to run straight into the kid, making his ticket fall out of his pocket.

"Hey! Watch where you're going!" yelled the rat-boy as he was running away. He turned the corner quickly, not noticing the fireball that missed him by inches, which proceeded to decimate a group of carnies on the other side of the street.

"Damn, I half missed" the strange kid thought to himself.

He picked up his ticket and proceeded to the ticket booth, where he handed over his ticket. He had been wanting to go to this play for quite some time now. He knew there were going to be hundreds of nobles there, and their expensive clothing was always so wonderfully flammable.

The ticket master looked at the strange kid's ticket with doubt. After a quick inspection, the ticket master broke the bad news to the poor kid.

"Sorry, but this ticket is a fake", he said.

"Noooooooo!", the kid moaned.

"Cheer up kid, I'll give you these tetra master cards to play with", he said in a weak attempt to help the kid. "Maybe you'll get to meet Alleyway Jack. Ask him if you want to know more about Tetra Master cards"

"Gee, thanks mister!", the kid said in a sarcastically grateful tone, though the ticket master didn't notice the sarcasm.

The kid walked off in the direction of the nearby alley while the ticket master happily looked into the courtyard. The children were out playing, the vendors were advertising their merchandise, and the nobles were out to see the play. "_Alexandria is truly a beautiful town",_ he thought to himself. He looked up at the gorgeous sky just before his skull was smashed in by the head of a staff.

The strange kid, or Vivi, as the lazy author is just going to refer to him now, continued walking down the alleyway, wiping the last bits of gore off himself. He slipped on a brain chunk, just as the nearby storeowner missed a nail on his sign and bent it lopsided.

"Aw dammit kid, you made me mess up" said the grouchy old man.

"Wait, I fall down at the same time you miss a nail and you blame that on me?" asked Vivi.

"It's obviously your fault!" growled the old man.

Vivi powered up a fireball and launched it at the man's sign, obliterating it and leaving a small hole in the wall.

"No, _that's _obviously my fault" said Vivi with satisfaction.

The old man ran away screaming just as a strange rat-faced boy came into the alley, who gave a look of achievement when he spotted the man's abandoned ladder with Vivi next to it.

"Hey! I know you! You had that fake ticket!" said the rat-boy.

"Yeah, it was a fake. You're the second person to tell me that. Would you like to join the first?" asked Vivi.

"Nah that's alright," replied the rat-boy. "Listen, I can get you into the play if you want, but you'll have to agree to be my slave!.

"I've got a better idea, actually" Vivi said to himself.

He was about to shoot a fireball at the kid's head when suddenly he visualized hundreds of flaming nobles. Realizing his predicament, Vivi came to an unfortunate realization.

"Fine" he said grudgingly.

"Cool!" said the rat-boy. "Okay, first things first slave! Go over there and tell me if anyone's coming!"

Vivi rolled his eyes and proceeded to follow the directions. He saw that no one was coming and relayed the message.

The rat-boy picked up the ladder and hoisted it over himself.

"Okay! Follow me slave!" he said.

Vivi was about to follow when suddenly a strange man came up close to him. Vivi anticipated the pickpocket's move dodging his hand. The man seemed impressed and was about to speak when Vivi pulled out his staff and thrust it through the man's neck, severing his spinal cord. The man died in nearly an instant.

"Bitch" said Vivi. "Ooh, Tetra Master cards. It looks like you sure were high up in society"

Vivi then followed the rat-boy's path, and soon came upon a large steeple. Inside, the steeple was almost completely bare. Only a single chimney decorated the room with a ladder inside of it leading up to the rooftop.

"You go on up first slave!" the rat-boy ordered.

Vivi was about to climb up when he saw a moogle fall towards him. He moved out of the way just in time so that the moogle missed him. The little fuzz ball landed with a sickening crack.

"Holy crap!" yelled the rat-boy.

"He'll be fine" said Vivi. "I've seen far worse"

"I think we should revive him!" said the rat-boy in a worried tone.

"Fine" groaned Vivi, rolling his eyes. He tossed a phoenix down on the moogle, who began to wake up. "Can we go now?"

"Yeah, sure" replied the rat-boy.

They proceeded up the ladder and onto the rooftops, soon coming across a makeshift bridge across two roofs. The rat-boy quickly ran across but Vivi stayed his ground.

"Come on slave! Just cross!" said the rat-boy.

"I don't like heights" said Vivi.

"It's fine, don't worry about it!" said the rat-boy

Vivi cautiously moved across the boards slowly. Things looked fine until the boards gave through, but Vivi jumped just in time, avoiding falling to the streets below.

"Guess I was wrong" remarked the rat-boy, as Vivi scowled at him.

They proceeded past several more roofs when the came upon some scaffolding on the side of the castle.

"We're here!" said the rat-boy in an excited voice.

He placed the ladder down to make a bridge between the roof and the scaffolding.

"By the way slave, my name is Puck" said the rat-boy.

"I'm Vivi" Vivi replied

"Alright slave! Move across the bridge while I hold it steady for you" commanded the rat-boy.

Vivi quickly moved across the ladder.

"Alright, now you hold it steady for me!" said the rat-boy.

He was halfway across when Vivi seized his opportunity. He shoved the ladder forward, causing it and Puck to fall into the street.

"BASTAAAAAAARRRRRD!" Puck yelled as he fell to certain doom.

"THAT WAS FOR RUNNING INTO ME BITCH!" Vivi yelled down.

Vivi turned around and proceeded into the Castle and nearby theatre. Meanwhile, the members of Tantalus prepared for the show.

So yeah, that's the same chapter but a second one is here finally! I mainly just put this chapter here because I didn't want to make new readers to this story have to find the old copy. Review and enjoy my second chapter!


	2. The Next Part of the Story

Holy freaking hell! There's actually a second chapter to this damn story! Many apologies for those of you who waited so long for this. I blame school, work uh, the dog, the apocalypse, pretty much everything, since this obviously isn't my fault.

I do hope you enjoy my new chapter. Please leave reviews and/ or give me death threats for encouragement!

Vivi quickly walked forward towards the seating area of the theater

Vivi quickly walked forward towards the seating area of the theater. There were many nobles up close, with many more lower call people sitting higher up and on rooftops. Being surrounded by so many snooty nobles, Vivi trembled with eagerness.

"Must. Burn. Every. Single. One." Vivi said to himself excitedly

Just then, the band began playing an excited piece, while fireworks exploded and the curtain rose.

Captain Adelbert Steiner was pleased that the play was tonight. Princess Garnet had seemed depressed lately, so Steiner as hoping this would cheer her up.

"DAMMIT, WHERE THE HELL IS MY MEAL! Bellowed Queen Brahne, in all her fatty-fat-fatness.

"H-here your highness!" several small and timid chefs said while carrying massive platters of various exotic foods, which in all honesty wasn't at all exotic but was really just consisting of several sides of pork, beef, poultry, fruits, breads, vegetables, and …uh, well the chefs were pretty sure it was dead and edible.

"GOOD, THAT BETTER BE AT LEAST HALF MY WEIGHT!" Queen Brahne yelled as she began devouring the meal.

"Your highness, perhaps you should chew your food! You know what happened last time!" one small chef perked up while moving closer to her, which proved to be a fatal mistake.

As Queen Brahne devoured her food, she couldn't help but think that the last thing she just ate screamed for mercy, but oh well.

As that was going on, Steiner decided to signal the troupe, and the play was off.

"Okay guys! The band's started up! We need to get into position soon!" yelled Cinna to the crew. "You guys got your lines and everything down?"

"Um... I think so." said Zidane

"Uhhhhhh…" said Blank.

"…..Did you guys spend all your time memorizing the plan and not the play? Asked Cinna

"Yeah" said the actors.

"Oh. _Shit_." Muttered Cinna. "Improv time guys!"

And with that, the audience applauded Baku for the introduction and the play was on the way. Zidane, Blank and Marcus took their spots on stage near Baku and those weird hook-hand guys.

"Uh, King Baku! You will pay for this!" shouted Zidane

"What? Fer hatin' Marcus or somthin? Whasha gonna do 'bout it huh?" drowled Baku

"You dare mock us by acting drunken?" Marcus said, improvising on Baku's apparent drunkenness.

"Wanna fight? Le's fight then!"

Baku then pulled out his sword and charged forward, only to slip and impale himself on his sword.

"Oh no! our king is injured! We must, uh, pull him to safety!" said a hook-hand guy.

"You cowards, retreating when your leader is horribly injured!" said Zidane. "I will never let you go!"

Zidane moved forward to pursue the retreating men, but was abruptly stopped by Blank.

"I won't let you kill him Zidane!" yelled Blank.

"What? Why?" asked Zidane

"The King …uh …owes me money! Yeah money!" said Blank. "_I think we're supposed to fight here_" he whispered.

"Oh, uh, ok then. Let's fight!" said Zidane.

Zidane and Blank then moved downstage in front of the audience.

"Ok Zidane, press X!"

"Huh? What do you mean 'press X'?"

"Press X!"

"Uh….X!" said Zidane, which caused the two men to clash swords. "What the hell's going on? This is weird!"

"Press !"

"Uh… !" said Zidane, which made the men do another cool trick. "Ok, I think I'm getting the hang of this!"

"X, O, O, , ∆, X" they went in perfect rhythm, until…

"X!" said Blank

"O!" Zidane said causing his sword to move in the wrong direction

"OH GOD N-" yelled Blank before he was suddenly decapitated, spraying blood all over the audience.

"My, such wondrous effects these people have, albeit messy" remarked a noble.

Zidane looked at Blank awkwardly, then the audience, then Blank, then the other guys on stage, then he scratched his ass, then stared at Blank some more, then figured "Oh yeah, gotta get off stage. He picked up Blank's body and head and marched off stage, doing a little jig to make things seem casual.

Queen Brahne was most impressed.

With the play in an intermission, a couple of nobles decided they would head to the lavatory to freshen up.

"I say, this is one of the most droll plays I have seen in some time" said one of the snooty jerks.

"Indeed, the effects they used were obviously fake, " said the other snooty jerk.

"I got some real effects for ya right here bitches!" said a voice from behind them

The men barely had enough time to turn around and meet the person behind the voice when they were suddenly engulfed in a raging hellfire, burning their bodies into a fine ash.

"That should hold off some urges for a good chunk of time" Vivi said to himself cheerfully. He then skipped away while the ashes behind him blew away out the window.

""Ok, now that I've got my head back" said Blank scornfully, "let's go get the princess"

"Well ok, but…"

"What now?"

"It's just that…this helmet stinks!" said Zidane, tossing his helmet away

"You think you've got it bad? My shoes are wet, there are crumbs in my pockets, these pants don't fit, and….DAMMIT! WHERE ARE ALL THESE THINGS COMING FROM?!" yelled Blank, as about 35 more chipmunks crawled out of his armor.

"Ok, ok, you've proven your point, let's go" said Zidane

The two men headed off towards the princess's quarters, until Zidane almost ran into a strange hooded girl.

"Oh, uh, excuse me" said the girl, trying to get past Zidane, but he wouldn't budge.

"Wait, I think I've seen you before, I never forget a pretty face" said Zidane, as he checked the girl out. "You look really familiar" he noted

Suddenly, the girl tried to run past Zidane, only to accidentally trip on his foot into a painful ride down the stairs.

"Ooh, whoops, my bad" said Zidane, looking at the crumpled heap of the girl.

Fortunately, she got up, but immediately ran away, past Blank.

"Who was that?" asked Blank

"Get her! It's the princess!" said Zidane, and the two men bolted in her direction.

Queen Brahne was growing worried, Garnet had left a while ago and hadn't come back. Suddenly, her two trusted servants came to deliver a message.

"Princess Garnet has gone missing! announced Zorn.

"!Sah tenraG ssecnirP, gnissim enoG" announced Thorn.

"This is not good" noted Queen Brahne. "Captain Beatrix! ,Captain Steiner!" yelled Brahne

"Um, like, what?" asked Beatrix as she played with the curls in her blonde hair.

"JA MEIN QVEEN?!" yelled Steiner.

"Princess Garnet is missing, I need you two to find her" said Brahne

"JA, I VILL FIND ZE PRINCESS GARNET AND RETURN HER RIGHT AVAY! Yelled Steiner

"Wow, that's like, totally lame and stuff. I wouldn't wanna go missing cause then I like, wouldn't know where I was" Said Beatrix as she played with the curls in her blonde hair.

Steiner marched off to call his soldiers, the Knights of the former planet Pluto

"KNIGHTS OF ZE FORMER PLANET PLUTO, ASSEMBLE!" yelled Steiner, but only two troops showed up, and they were stark naked.

"HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU, ZAT BEHAVIOUR IZ FOR AFTER YOUR DUTIES!

"Uh, sir, someone took our armor" one of the soldiers noted

"YOU VILL PUT ON YOUR ARMOR AND YOU VILL HELP ME FIND ZE PRINCESS, OR I VILL EAT YOUR HEARTS! Yelled Steiner

"Yes sir!" yelled the soldiers as they rushed off

Steiner decided to march around the grounds in hopes of finding the princess, little knowing she was being chased, and also his soldiers, who were actually busy investigating complaints by nobles about people not coming back from short breaks to the lavatory or grounds. Much was to come before the night was over.

There you have it, it took me only 4 or so months but I actually wrote a second chapter. Maybe I'll actually be a decent human being and keep writing this time.

As you can see, some characters I have changed radically while some seem kind of normal. That's simply the way my stories gonna develop ( total amateur writer here). I would appreciate suggestions and pointing outs of my flaws, which are many.

And by the way, I really am gonna keep writing, don't worry :D


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